Saturday, November 6, 2010

Lesson 8: On Dressing American

At orientation before we left, we were given this stupid piece of advice:

"I mean try not to dress like super American or anything. I wouldn't wear shorts. French people just don't wear shorts even if it's hot outside. They'll stare at you."

Excuse me? Did this trick really just tell me not to wear shorts in JUNE?

Okay people, here's my advice. Wear whatever the freak you feel like wearing! You know what? They're going to stare at you no matter what you have on. Like I've said before, the Europeans have staring problems. They WILL know you're American no matter how you dress. Or they'll think you're Italian, Australian, or British. Point is, they know you're foreign. Now is not the time to start acting and dressing like someone you aren't, because then you just look like a damn idiot. You may be a fluent genius in whatever language you're studying, you may even have their accent down perfectly, but you are still from the land of air conditioning and Taco Bell. You are an Amurrrican.

So instead of trying to be a poser, just embrace it! You are making our country look better by actually going abroad and trying to learn another language unlike the rest of our moronic, self obsessed population.

It's true that most people could probably handle being in Europe in June and not wear shorts. But, if you're like me, it's NOT POSSIBLE and you will get cranky and want to shoot someone. If you want to wear those hoochie mama shorts, then by God just do it.

And don't care when people stare at you, it's just what they do. I mean you probably don't want to look like you just shacked at a frat house and haven't brushed your hair in 3 months, but I feel like that's self-explanatory.

Bottom line: Never try to be someone you aren't, because you will look like a douche bag and the rest of your fellow Amurricans will laugh at you behind your back. And that is a promise.

Poster child of the American South

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